only one actually brought the baby to work, multiple times, in the middle of a project where we were “getting in trouble”. Another came to the job already pregnant (fine, certainly don’t begrudge her that) but… with a slew of leave from previous gov. position, came in, took one of the day care downstairs slots, was out for close to a year (maybe I exaggerate a little but not much), now telecommutes and flex-works and is part time and “feels she’s been mommy-tracked” really?

I also can’t help but feeling for the folks who don’t have babies, who might want babies, or who DID the new parent / working thing, successfully or not, but without getting any special treatment. Because yes, the NEW parent wording was intentional and not mine. To this group, you don’t count if you’re an “old” parent. who decides? dunno.

Meggie, I’d be fine with a club or — gasp — what about making friends with people with like interests, but this is a managing-director-level-supported work group. Seriously I JUST got such a community of practice for a group of my peers (fellow writer editors) after much fighting for it. Writer editors are paid differently, have lower pay ceilings than other analysts (formally, officially) and have periodically been threatened with other substantive changes to work terms and conditions. There are 70 of us. Near as I can tell the new parent group was started by two women who “feel mistreated.”

I first heard about this from a new mom friend who was lamenting to me about how hard it is out there for the mommies. I inquired “really? Seems so family friendly.” Oh nooo, I was told, I don’t hear from the other mothers like she does, “they’re mommy tracked. Isn’t that horrible?” Well something’s horrible but it’s not the quality of work life, I thought as steam came out of my ears and I let my MUCH, MUCH nicer fellow non-parent friend empathize with the mommy tracking woes. argh. now i’m hijacking my own comments. Thanks for letting me vent.

I’ve been on both sides of this issue myself — the young, single (or newly married with no kids) employee who was stuck working 2 weeks’ straight at a library reference desk because all the librarians with more tenure and leave than I had were enjoying the holidays at home with their families. And I’ve also been the new mom who was back at work 8 weeks after the first baby, worked like crazy up until 2 days the 2nd baby was born, was basically on call during my maternity leave to answer questions forom coworkers, and then upon returning to the office after the second mat leave was told by my boss that she was removing me “from the critical path” of my primary project. Not due to any under-performance, but anticipation of what she thought might be a difficult transition from 1 kid to 2. I applied for a new job the next week and left within the month.

But I agree with you. Parenting is a choice, and while it’s helpful to have resources to rely on/share stories and tips with, I’m not sure it’s the role of the workplace to create a formal support group for that purpose. Informal, yes, but not something so formal and obviously reserved for high impact issues in your organization. Plus it sounds like there’s a whole other agenda in the creation of the CoP. It would be more ballsy for HR or senior management to tackle that issue directly (as well as the issue of any parents not pulling their weight on teams) rather than couch it in some “support group.”

Whew. Sorry to hijack your comments!

Full disclosure: I am a wife and mother and full-time employee in a small business.

Great topic, Miss Washwords! I’d be annoyed, too!

Also? AARRRR! Welcome aboard the BlogHus Blog Roll, Where Nothing Noteworthy Has Happened Since 1965!

I would also say, let the “new parents” (and how about us “old parents” too – I’ve been at it for 12+ years and wouldn’t mind having access to a support network like you described) have their group… but I’d like to believe your management / workplace would be open to other affinity groups assembling in a similar fashion. You’re absolutely right, everyone is dealing with work and with life and we all strive to strike whatever balance we feel is best for us personally. That’s not an issue that’s unique to parents. And that’s why benefits like flex time and FMLA and other leaves of absence make sense not just for working parents, but for employees at all stages of their careers & lives.

Spoken like an HR manager, eh??

Not advancing as fast as others b/c you’re not putting in as much time/work product isn’t “Mommy tracking.” It’s fairness.