The saddest “Bachelorette” ever

I’m an unabashed reality show junkie from wayyyyy back in the “Real World” days. Besides Real World, America’s Next Top Model, Top Chef, Project Runway, yes even Joe Millionaire (I read, too. I swear. Big books with big words!)

Yet, for the most part, “The Bachelor” and later “The Bachelorette” eluded me. Sure I’d watch now and again, usally at the end, some bachelors (and ettes) more than others, but only with half an eye (while blogging, usually).

But tonight, maybe it’s me, maybe it’s my lack of full-on bachelorette participation, but

I felt tears, not of joy. (spoiler alert!)

The “loser” in this show was a 31 year old single dad who told his little boy about this woman, who sacrificed time with his child and whose eyes spoke deep true feeling for this woman. The winner seemed nice, too. Funny, loud,  wavy-haired. But the sadness in the loser’s eyes.

And he wasn’t the only one. There were lots of losers. That’s the point of the show – only one “wins” love, well two win love.  the rest lose. One of the other losers went to see the Bachelorette, after being kicked off, a new twist (to me anyway). With tears in his eyes, he said he probably hadn’t given enough of himself to her – after his mother (and I believe father’s too) death, he couldn’t feel anymore but he was starting to, with her support and affection.  She had tears in her eyes and his hands in hers when she said “no, I just don’t feel that way for you.” I believed she was trying to be honest, trying to do right by him and by herself. But if she didn’t love him, why hold his hands, why care at all?

Do I know this woman, the bachelorette, Deanna? Of course not. Do I know the losers or winner? Nope. But tonight I heard a man ask when his love knew – knew it wasn’t him. And I heard another say he was broken and wouldn’t be made whole again. And I wondered – can you win love on a game show? And I knew the answer was no. but we, bachelors and bachelorettes, already knew that.